being a teenage girl in the era of one direction

don't forget where you belong: home

I turn 28 in exactly 3 weeks. As my birthday approaches each year, I catch myself often looking back on being a teenage girl. About how it felt, about what it meant, about if I spent those infamous years in the correct way. If it lived up to the hype. For awhile, it was hard to be sure. There are always a million what-ifs and should-haves.

Being a teenage girl is something so special - it is fragile and emotionally-charged and will give you a bit of whiplash if you’re not prepared for what’s to come. And you probably won’t be prepared for what’s to come. It is a superpower; it’s time you can’t let go to waste.

Being a teenage girl is never dull and always dramatic. It is feeling like anything can happen, like you are capable of anything. Everything is too much and nothing is enough for a teenage girl.

Being a teenage girl is full of uncertainty and stereotypical life changes and whatever the fuck is meant by the phrase “coming of age.” The world is at your fingertips if you allow yourself to stop being afraid of everything that is unknown.

Being a teenage girl is constantly evolving. Often unstable. Exhausting. Trying to gain your footing on shaky ground. All-encompassing.

However — there were some things, if you were lucky enough, that were constants. Things that were stable that carried you through all the chaos. Inherently good, solid things you could latch onto and count on.

Music was always stable for me, and it was also a constant for the girls I kept close to me back then. The same women I still keep close to me to this day as we all slowly inch closer to thirty and away from any teenaged year.

One Direction was a constant for me. One Direction was a constant for all of us. They were a YouTube video I would watch to distract myself from a boy who never texted me back. They were a concert I’d go to with my best friend who just got her license. Being in the car with her behind the wheel gave us a falsified sense of freedom and a new surge of independence. They were a conversation starter with strangers in the elevator, with girls in the bathroom of the bar.

One Direction was girlhood. They were friendship and uninhibited joy and screaming at the top of your lungs because you cared about something. They were communities that were built within the stands of arenas and stadiums, in group chats that are still active over a decade later.

One Direction was a safe place. A crush that didn’t break your heart. Music you could blast with the windows down as the sun began to finally set past seven P.M..

The fact that I was a teenage girl during the era of One Direction, that they were my constant during a decade of inconsistencies, is a gift I will never take for granted. The fact that I was lucky enough to share my constant with some of the most radiant, powerful, and electric women I know is all I could have ever asked for as I reflect back on my teenage years. With confidence and days away from 28, finally, I can say I know I spent them right.

I have matching tattoos with these women today; I live with them in New York City; I am a bridesmaid in their weddings. I am proud of them. I tell everyone how lucky I am to know them, to grow with them. To have been a part of something together. To think of them as my home. I’ve never meant any words more, and that’s enough for me.